The wedding

As soon as my eyes fell upon the bride gliding down the aisle, I knew it didn’t matter anymore. Her eyes were filled with such hope, such dreams and an emotion more powerful than anything I had ever claimed to feel for her. I wondered what it would have been like if it were me she was walking towards. If it were me she was hoping to spend the rest of her life with. The thought left me as soon as it had come.  It was all irrelevant now.

I braced myself to conceal any ill thoughts that would cross my mind during this ceremony. I knew I could not display any hurt or longing that my insides were screaming with. This would be the moment of my greatest courage. My mind filled up with pictures of heroes going to battle, the great moments of courage strewn across science fiction. I knew I would have to muster all the bravery I could, to get through the next part.

She had halted before the man of her dreams. She was radiating a glow that was lighting everyone around her. As the words, “If anyone here has any objections to this couple getting married, let them speak now or forever hold your peace” were uttered I felt a gut wrenching pain inside where I wanted to shout and stop the wedding. I said nothing and neither did anyone else. After the vows, the “I do”, the exchange of rings and the kiss I couldn’t wait to get out of there.

As I was leaving, a bridesmaid smiled at me and said, “Beautiful ceremony eh?” I looked into her eyes filled with tears suitable for such occasions. I simply nodded and left as fast as my legs could carry me.

What do you do for a living?

“What do you do for a living?”

The question was simple, but it seemed to have brought about a fury of emotions inside me and I couldn’t quite define them into words to answer his question. He was looking at me in confusion as though I was about to burst into tears. Looking at his face I realized that some of the inner turmoil was probably reflected on my face and I replied in a quiet voice:

“I work in a large corporation.”

As soon as the words were out of my mouth, they seemed insufficient to the question that had been asked. I quickly added:

“My job is in customer support. Whenever anyone needs anything, they dial for me. Like an in-house call center if that makes sense to you.”

He was not sure how to react. I could see the battle in his mind: “Should I say, that sounds interesting?” or “Should I further question as to the decision for taking up this position?” I was vaguely surprised when he looked enquiringly at me and murmured:

“And you like it?”

It seemed like I would drown under the weight of this question. “Of course I didn’t like it. It was supposed to be a temporary job. Even I didn’t know how I had spent almost five years doing it. It didn’t even pay enough to make me want to stay?” I was again lost in my thoughts. He might have guessed what was going through my mind because he suggested:

“You want a smoke?”

I nodded thinking, it couldn’t hurt.