DECEMBER!!! why is it here again? I remember last december, and it just felt to have been here but suddenly its not. Another december is here, life has changed. December is a strange month, not just cos two of my favorite people were born in this month but also, cos December marks the end and the beginning. It marks the beginning of a new year, and the end of another. Not to add there is festivities all over the place of Christmas and New Years.
And not to mention the cold of December, most of the Northern Hemisphere if you are north of Arctic Circle you are definitely frozen, if you are between the Tropic of Cancer and Arctic Circle then you are just shivering (lucky you). You might also be in the Southern Hemisphere and enjoying the summer, I do not know. Oh, I am only shivering and my fingers could do some warmth but you know, I am alive and life is good.
I am sort of fond of December, everything is pretty in disguise and nothing is real. Everything is a farce, and if you have had december’s like mine you will definitely feel that people are as cold as the weather is. So, what time of the year is it? It is the time of the year, to go back home, to buy presents, to receive presents, to celebrate, to drink wine mostly to keep yourself cozy, to go on vacations, to miss friends/family if you are alone, but mainly it is the time of year for resolutions. It is the time for making plans, plans one would probably give up on somewhere at the end of January or maybe even the beginning if you are me.
It is that time of year when good things become better and bad things just seem worse. I hope you have good things to celebrate and believe. Even though we all don’t believe in Santa, it isn’t such a bad idea to believe at this time of year. It might be a good idea to be hopeful. Sigh.
The thing is, I stopped blogging at all.. cos I stopped writing at all, didn’t feel like it.. but today I did, not because it seemed like the thing to do, but because I wanted to be alone, and somehow when I write I am alone, not lonely, just alone. I don’t want to be with people, because it is my life, my time and I suddenly realized that I had spent so much of it with people who couldn’t be bothered that I don’t know if it even makes sense. For some reason, I have come a long way in life. In friendship and in love. but like all dreamers I still believe that you get what you give, if u spread love out in the world, you will get it back somehow, someday. I don’t know how right I am about this.
You see, it is easy to give up and recently I felt like it very much. Then a friend of mine said to me, you can’t give up, it is too soon. Maybe he has a point, more point than anyone has ever made. It is true, I am giving up without even exploring what I could possibly have. I think it is okay to give up on certain things. Some relationships are not meant to be and to give up on them is not a big deal. But, if someone asks you to still believe maybe you should listen to them. I believe in signs. The world is a magical place, for all those who think I am crazy, you might be onto something. I have been betrayed, hurt and almost killed myself over the human beings on this planet and yet I want to believe. I believe in this world. I believe that there are solutions. I believe that I can be anything I want and anyone I want. I can do certain things that nobody can because you see I was sent on to this planet for a certain reason. I don’t know it yet, but I intent to find out before I go.
Oh, if anyone is wondering why this post is called rolling in the deep-adele, the simple reason to that is that rolling in the deep is playing while I type this out, and because if one thinks about that song it is an awesome song and it says so much about life. It is about not giving up this the very end and one day finally giving up. We live in a selfish world but somehow others around us forget to value each other. We all are rolling in the deep, but to give up when one is broken is a decision one has to make. Okay, gonna write something less depressing. 🙂