Monthly Archives: January 2013

What makes you happy

I have been a little grumpy for the past few days and I could not understand why. I just stepped away from my life for a minute, not stepping into anyone’s shoes, just away from my life and I looked at my life as a spectator and I realized why I was grumpy. Just looking at it, I realized I was more unhappy than I had been on the miserablest of days. (And yes, miserablest is a word now.) I could not think why I was so unhappy. For the past few days, I have been getting this feeling of self doubt, discomfort and uneasiness. It is as if something is completely wrong with my life and then I realized, there indeed is. 

So, getting back to my title “What makes you happy”. As you would have noticed there is no question mark at the end, just because this is not a question you should ask but more like a statement of which you should have knowledge of. To me, believing in something, working towards something, having something to look forward to, makes me really happy. Just existing in a rut, even a happy one is not good enough or rather it is not good enough any more. My simple belief in life is, if you are doing things that make you happy, you will never spend a single day in your life regretting it. Happiness removes regret, it gets rid of it. It makes you guilt-free. True happiness is simple, not complicated (same way, good relationships are simple). Simple things cause happiness, difficult things cause satisfaction and as much as those things could be related, they are not the same. Happiness != Satisfaction and vice-versa. 

We all know what makes us unhappy, or at least most people should. Reflect. Look inside your heart, your soul. Find your unhappiness and build life around changing that state. If you are a human, you will not remain happy for too long. Always keep working to be happy. Work towards your happiness. Some people need to. Or I think most people need to, some just know how to work towards it more easily. If you are someone who is in love with the wrong person, change that fact today. You may ask how, just look yourself in the mirror and decide. I am done with this guy/girl. I will not think about it. Dreams are good. But they are hard, so maybe some dreams you should let go if letting go of them makes you happy. 

If you are someone who is tired of being lazy. Decide today to not be. Clean your room, wash your clothes, clear everything. Throw away the things that make you unhappy. Don’t not change just because you are scared of change. Change could be good. Think of that ridiculous haircut that everyone loved. Change is not always bad. It is the only constant. Accept it. Breathe it. Move on. Don’t expect happiness to come from external sources, first create those sources in the least. Talk to people. Find what makes you happy. 

People say, happiness and success comes from doing the things you love. If you don’t always get to do the things you love, you have two options: 

1. Either change what you are doing. 

2. Or love the things you are doing. (I know this sounds stupid, but if you don’t get to do the things that you love, you just start loving the things you do get to do. easy. not really.)

I am sick of being miserable, and so should anyone who is miserable should be. If you are still mourning anything months after it happened, let it go. Be happy. Find happiness. Find your calm. Find yourself. Don’t ever stop looking.

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Feminism: really?

I am not a feminist. I do not want equal rights with men. I want to be a man. (kidding, no not really :P) So what I really want to talk about is about people who are feminists but who actually are misguided in the concept of feminism. Okay maybe I would be stealing one of my friends thoughts but I want to talk about something else, something I think is of utmost importance. I want to discuss whether we really want to be a feminist? (I’m sorry if you are a guy reading this, but this is more something for women to think about)

Feminism is a collection of movements and ideologies aimed at defining, establishing, and defending equal political, economic, and social rights for women (as described by wikipedia). The first point I would like to bring up are the misguided individuals who think feminism will make life all the way better. Also, who are actually trying to acquire superior rights by called it “feminism”. I am sorry, it says EQUAL. So, if people do talk about feminism they have to really understand it does not mean better rights, it means equal rights. It means standing in the men’s queue sweating for hours to get tickets. It means, nobody does you favors, nobody carries your luggage, nobody shows superior strength. Being a feminist, means wanting to have same responsibility as a man. The question really is, do we want it or just want to be superior above all other men? 

I know women go through different biological changes, and they are not exactly like men. Equality though, is not really a function of biology. Even though, men and women are different I think it is completely natural to want an equal right as men. I mean, if animals were very smart and could communicate through language I am very sure we would be fighting them continuously for rights. No, I am not comparing women to animals (come on feminists, calm down). All I am saying is, women (we) are smart, intelligent, and capable of human communication and so, demanding equal rights in a male dominated society is completely natural but demanding more superior status than men, that might be a little unnatural (maybe even wrong). You can’t expect to have separate queues for women and also same legislation seats in the parliament. You cannot get both. Sorry. 

So feminists today, what is wrong in their attitude? They think that the world is out to get them. All independent women somehow have this for want of a better word stupid attitude towards the whole perception of world. If you are a woman you is independent, you can have equal right as men but you cannot expect to change all mindsets. What I mean is, yes it sucks that women are treated like objects more than men are. How many women keep men? How many men have mistresses? Look at history, you will know. So yes the world is an unfair place for women, I agree but then, the world is an unfair place. period. 

Okay, let me tell you something. When I was 21, I realized there were 2-3 girls my age married, and they seemed perfectly fine with this arrangement. With every year, more girls got engaged, got married and they were happy about it. Completely. They weren’t trying to make a career, they weren’t trying to earn money. They were married to completely rich people. These are not girls who did studied less, or didn’t have any career objectives when they were in school. These are girls who are well educated (many engineers I might add) but they seem completely comfortable with the idea of never working. So I started thinking, do we really want equal rights? 

If you asked say any bunch of a 100 random women if they would like to carry their luggage around, I can assure you most of them would say, they don’t mind it when their boyfriends, husbands, fathers, brothers or their male friends carry it. How many times have you walked with a male and he has given his bag to you to carry? I would say, never. And how many times, have you actually handed over your bag to a man? I would say, many times. If women can’t carry groceries, shopping bags and suitcases on their own. On the contrary I think women pack extra heavy so that they find it hard to carry it. I don’t understand why we look for equal right. Many of the women are fine with not doing their own jobs, even at school. How many women doing computer science look for help from their male friends? MANY. believe me, I studied programming. There is nothing to be ashamed of if you need help, the problem is to stop behaving as if you don’t. 

I am not making a case against feminism here, I am just saying maybe it is an ideology not for everyone. If some women are okay with being pretty and stupid, it is fine. If you want to follow the society’s image of your gender is fine, I just think there are some of us who want to break free. Feminism is for them. Not for obnoxious women who want partial treatment. I just find it interesting that some women actually don’t care what happens to their life as long as they can find the love of their life. It is odd because there is no man who is sissy and crying that he doesn’t have love in his life. He has bros. He goes chilling. He is fine. And so, to all independent single women, be strong. If you want society to change, you need to change how you see yourself as well. Stop comparing yourself to everyone. You are enough for yourself, otherwise you cannot be happy. Cheers! 

P.S. To all women who have the love of their lives, lucky bitches, I am so jealous !

Important Message!! (HIGH IMPORTANCE)

I just downloaded an app on my phone and realized that it violates privacy. The app is called true caller, it asks you for permission to your contact list but unlike whatsapp it actually stores all the contact information in a centralized database. Basically it is stealing your information. I know people agree and continue without actually reading the permissions but this app is misusing the permissions. Also, if you try to unlink your contact you cannot right now. It might actually be even storing your phone number (and your contacts), addresses, emails and even contact pictures. It also asks for permissions to messages. It is highly unsafe so I would suggest all you people PLEASE PLEASE delete this application and do not let anyone you know download it. And if a lawyer reads this, can you please sue the developers of this app?