Monthly Archives: December 2012


Time and again, you look around yourself for some sort of inspiration in order to be more creative sometimes or maybe just a little focused or just a little more driven. Like it is with laziness that drives away at the last moment, when you get inspiration things that feel so so hard to do, just become easy for a very short while. It is like that tiny drop of felix, like that first high you had, it is like that moment of possibility. Inspiration is beautiful and complex and all-surrounding. 

I got inspired by a really really irrelevant tv show’s episode to write this post, actually I got inspired to reflect my entire existence. I saw this woman in this show so insecure of who she is that she tries to make everyone look less important so that she could look important. I cannot help but think, am I any different? I have never liked it if my friends were happier and I have never been able to just be content. Never been a modest person in my life, I have gotten the impression that I am boastful. I read somewhere true artists, true lovers do not boast of their love or art they are just so happy with it, they don’t need to boast. That’s why maybe all these women posting their problems with their partners on Facebook feels so so futile and superficial to me. The fact that I can boast who I am makes me wonder if I am boastworthy (thats a word now) at all.

As I was talking about inspiration, I would just like to mention something. Inspiration does not always mean to do something, sometimes it just means to not do some things. I have never been able to be truly happy for anyone in my entire life. I have been so jealous of people that I have forgotten what it means to be happy for somebody and as time goes by I feel like I have never really been anyone’s true friend. I cannot support people to become better than me. This might be true for so many other people. I do not know. The thing is, I do believe we all have a calling and once you do answer it, you stop being jealous cos the fame and glamour of your calling doesn’t matter. Whether you are appreciated for your work doesn’t matter. The only thing important once you find the love of your life, the thing that makes you complete (I said thing, not person) you stop caring about what other people’s life are going through because you know, they will never be as happy as you are. 

You know, I learnt something today. There’s a reason why you can’t measure some things like happiness and love because if you could you would compare two completely random relationships and draw conclusions. Love and happiness are things you define for yourself. I have the following 2013 suggestions for myself and all those wonderful people who might read this: 

1. Love and happiness is relative to your past experience. But, that does not mean you define the peak of your love or happiness. You cannot guarantee that the thing that gave you supreme happiness in the past would make you feel the same way in the future. Give way to change. DO NOT ever say you were happiest doing something/with somebody because all you are doing is undermining all your future happiness. LIVE. Don’t quantify happiness.

2.  We all have different definitions of happiness. Partying all night might make someone really happy but don’t be assured that would work for you. You might just be happy staying home all night reading. Stop defining your definition of happiness on other people’s scale. Find your own. 

3. Love everything. From waking up in the morning to going to bed at night. Do not be a grump. Be happy. Just decide to be happy. FUCK everything. Just be happy. Love everything around you, even when it sucks. When your boss shouts at you, improve on what you are doing wrong to make sure that you can correct the wrong. Love your job. If you don’t, quit. Love each moment as it is a gift, you do not know when it will all be taken away so you need to be grateful and loving.

4. Don’t be convinced of anything. I am not saying don’t believe but just do not get all so caught up in your belief that you have no room to change it. Remember Aristotle was convinced that the earth was in the center of the solar system and that it was flat. Do not be so assured of that you cannot see when something about your belief system changes. 

5. Take life not-so-seriously. You are bound to screw up. Stop trying to not make mistakes. You will trip on your shoes someday and the water will be too cold to shower on some day. If you are too serious, all you will achieve is yourself running around trying to fix everything and believe me you don’t want to do that.

6. Fight well. Whenever you fight with someone, don’t ignore things. Fight and make sure you are heard. If you are being ignored, bring attention to yourself. Don’t try to write off your fight because you know if there are any conflicts they are bound to come up later.

7. Complete things. Leaving things hanging just complicates your work. If you have time, whether it is a literature paper you are writing, a math problem you are trying to solve, or just a simple program you are coding, or even a blogpost you are writing, finish it. Everything should be completed. Everything needs an ending. Stop stalling. Finish. 

So here is me, going now, wishing you all a very very happy new year 2013. Say your goodbye’s well for 2012. I hope it has made you learn as many things that I have learnt in the past year. Even if your learning was small, make sure you spend 10 minutes today to go over what has changed in the past year. And appreciate the change. Even when it sucks. To all those people who have lost something this year, don’t be sad. It’s life, shit happens. To all those who are incredibly happy, I hope you know that you are lucky. Appreciate it. To all those miserable today, look at it this way. Tomorrow is a brand new beginning. The real question really is, that you all should ask yourself is tomorrow really a “new” beginning? 

Have a brilliant end to this year! Make sure you have your resolutions ready! And when you kiss someone at midnight, make sure you live it. To all you brilliant people, CHEERS! 🙂


Merry Christmas all you wonderful people

Hello you people!!
Here is a quick blog post about what I think is the meaning of Christmas: I think it is the time of year to appease the people we love. We do the things others want us to do just in order to make them happy and for the 12 wonderful days of Christmas we try to find happiness in other people’s happiness.
I screwed up my christmas real bad (not to my complete fault): my best friend is ignoring me for i-dont-know-what reason and one of my family members is angry with me but i realize that if i could just keep myself occupied and happy, and also others around me so we can really be happy!
To all you people, do not destroy your christmas, dont fight with people. Live. Eat. Love. Have fun.

What if, there was no God

I am not talking about religion actually, I am talking about ‘God’, the concept that one over powerful being created all of us and controls the action of the people in the world. What if, all there is, is science?

I was born in a religious family, prayed every morning at school in the assembly and even had a tiny church in my school. I have been to all the house of religion. I have gone to churches, to mosques, to Hindu temples. I have been into them all and there is an atmosphere of faith and belief that is common in all of them. Religion is a lifestyle course I believe, but God as an entity has nothing to do with religion even though there’s a concept of a ‘superior being’ at the core of all religions. Religions are more about values and cultures and following customs, but then I wonder what God is all about? I try to use all my creative and not-so-creative imagination to paint a picture in my head of a world with no concept of God. I fail to do so and the fact that I can’t do it, scares me. I think that is God to me, fear. God is the fear that if I don’t do certain things, or do certain things, bad things would happen to me. I wonder, if there is no concept of love between human beings and ‘God’. I am not saying like in Greek Mythology(Demigods) but in actual real life, do we not love our creator? Do we only fear?

If yes, then why really? I wonder if anyone is ever free of fear then. I cannot help but wonder if all the human beings are is pretty petty and normal. What if, there is no such thing as great faith but only great fear. I do not know. I don’t have much faith but I do fear ‘God’, I think I fear Karma, or rather I believe that you cannot get good until you give. Is it a pathetic reason to be doing good though? Is it really sad that the only reason I would do anything good for anyone is because I am scared that bad would happen to me if I don’t? I do not know these answers and they bother me. What bothers me the most is whether there will be peace or chaos if there was no God. 

Funny thing is, I know what will happen. Nothing. Literally nothing. Because it doesn’t matter if God really exists or doesn’t, what is important is what people believe. If people believe that there is a God watching over their actions, they might not take a tow out of line, or maybe the poor people who have been promised angels in heaven wouldn’t be tempted by it if there was no concept of heaven. But does the actual fact that God exists makes a difference? The answer is NO. If everyone stops believing that there is a God, then that would make a difference. But, if there is no entity we spend hours praying to, who cares. It is ironic in a way to know that the fact that if there was no God, it wouldn’t matter until people actually believed it. Is this a sad thing? I do not know. As for if there ever was a maker, I would like to believe that human being do have a conscience higher than fear. 

There’s nobody like a mother

This is going to be a serious post dedicated especially to the woman who loves me the most in the world, my mother.. 

I think all mothers are different, but something about them is the same. They are blind to our faults. They are the only people who can love us blindly. My mum is not like that at all. My mother scolds me, annoys me, keeps shouting at me and fights with me all the time but nonetheless she loves me even when no one else can and she misses me when I am not around. 

But this post is not about my mother, it is about mothers. There is a famous proverb in Islam that says: “Heaven lies under the feet of your mother”. I heard this when I was really young the first time but didn’t quite understand it. (No, I am not a Muslim.) I do now though understand why this might be true. Being a mother is the most unbelievable thing to ever happen to a woman, because not only does it change you physically, it changes you mentally and emotionally. For the first time, you are truly responsible for someone because anything else you have ever been responsible for could not compare to the responsibility of another human being. And it is not any adult human being, it is a tiny little person who doesn’t know anything. A friend of mine usually say that it is unbelievable that the human race survives because a homo sapien’s young one has the longest learning cycle. Any other animal learns really quickly, but kids take a LONG time before they can be left on their own. 

So like I was saying, a mother is unbelievable as she is the one who is there always. When you take your first step, the first time you laugh, the first time you speak, the first time you make any sound at all. The thing about mothers are, they would never sit down and remind you all of this. There is so much sacrifice that a mother does, from countless night’s sleep to giving you food first, to ignoring all your misbehavior. A mother is truly commendable. The things that your mother puts up with, for instance I was so choosy with food when I was young. Even late at night, I used to make a mum prepare a new dish all together and she would do it. 

I just cannot believe that any woman is ever ready to be a mother until you actually are. No one can teach you, as parenting is personal. You need to teach, and you need to learn from your child. Being a parent is the best thing and every parent would tell you that because procreation is human being’s greatest contribution to the world, I think. You cannot love anyone as much you would love your child, it is not possible. So really, I bow before all the mothers in the world. Most importantly, I bow to my own, the one who has taught me everything I know. If I could be half as good a mother to my child as she has been to me I think I would be the best parent. 🙂

The end of the world

I am not here to talk about the Mayan myth of “end of world” that might take place in 12 days, but really to share something that I believe is necessary to be shared to people. Ask yourself something, if the world was to end right now, are you exactly where you want to be? No, I am not asking you to go on a witch hunt or start completing your bucket list, I am merely questioning if where you are, how you are living, is this the best way of life you can have right now? Can you improve something about yourself at this moment? Anything you want to correct about your ways?

When you hope to be fired from a job, it is time you should quit. When you are wishing your boyfriend/girlfriend should break-up with you then you know it is time to end it. When you know that your life is not the way you want, it is time you change something about it. I remember Steve Job’s Stanford commencement address(2005). He says something that I would like to share with all of you who hasn’t heard the speech:
“I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.”
So, what should we learn from this? Just that life is too short to do the same thing every day, it is too short to not experiment. It is too short for not living even for a single day. If you are someone who has been moping over a broken relationship or a lost job for months, maybe it is time you looked yourself in the mirror and told yourself, it didn’t fucking matter. The job, the relationship or anything other than what you have in hand right now doesn’t matter. The exact people around you are the ones who matter, as if you were to die just now, these people met you the last. These people will know you the last, and so if you were dreaming of some magical turn of events. Stop. Live. Breathe. Experience. Explore.

On a much more normal note, I would like to mention that I have not lived ideally, but once in a while I make pact to do something new everyday for the rest of the month (and believe me, it is quite simple to do). Just decide to eat only veges for a month, or turn vegan for a while. Try new things. There are so many things in the world, don’t be stuck up in your job and only your four best friends. There is more to life than a few people, there is so much more to life. You will not find it by looking at videos on youtube of cool people doing bungee jumping. No. You plan your own jump, you go and you jump off. And then you make a video and move on to other things. Do not let your life be memoir of other people’s desires, let your soul free for a while.

If only one person would read this and change their way of life, I would definitely be glad of my existence on this planet. 🙂

Happy Discovering all you people! T-11 days and some hours to the end of world. (I do not believe the world will end, but change your life a little to the way you want it to really be, just in case it does end)

The truth

“The truth is a beautiful and terrible thing, and should therefore be treated with great passion” -Albert Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, Harry Potter (oh if you don’t know the full name, really people missing out on something in life :P)

No, I will not discuss the beauty or terribleness of truth, I would just basically explain you the importance. I know a few things since I believe in the George Washington’s story of the cherry tree. If you don’t know about it, read it. There’s one line in that story, “I cannot tell a lie father, I cannot tell a lie”. The question really is, why can’t a small scared boy lie to his father about cutting down a tree when we lie to people closest to us everyday? Does that kid have more moral values than we do. I think that might really be it. 

If you called a random 100 educated (not literate, educated) bunch of individuals and ask them who all have heard of the proverb, “Honesty is the best policy” I can be sure that over 90% would have heard of the exact phase or a variation of it. Why do we teach our kids that honesty is good when we practice none of it? How is it possible for people like us to ever live with ourselves when we sell off all the core values we were taught when we were 10 years old. 

I am sure you were scared to lie when you were 10, but you are not anymore and do you know why? Just ask yourself, you know the answer. It is because you have lied so many (and i must insist on the many) times that now it is almost like telling the truth. I really like official documents, for some reason and I will explain you why. At the end, of every government document you are asked to sign but right before you have to check a checkbox and if you read the text next to it, it often says, “I declare that (blahblah) is true to my knowledge“. The key words being “true to my knowledge” and hence truth is different for each of us as is reality. I must insist here that I am not trying to tell you people how bad you are as a person, I really do not intend you bring down your self esteem, all I really want to do is tell you, please take a look at your morals. Write them down, spell it out. And please please please, do not cross over. We need morality for when this world collapses and when we wish to rebuild civilization, we would like morality to stand firm. 

I am not an idealist I am going to tell you people. My morals have been as corrupted as anyone else’s, but I also am going to spell out mine and feel bad about how immoral I have become because really if you go to a primary school kid, he/she probably has morals than you and i. Imagine how ashamed we should be of ourselves if humans have a exponential decline in morality with age. I cannot be more ashamed of myself. (Please don’t think I am talking out of guilt, I just feel bad that I lie and that people around me lie all the time)

The problem with lies is, you never know what the truth is really. Are we so indulged in lies that we really don’t know what the truth is? Try not to lie, keep truth alive. I do not really know how else to hope for this world to have a real chance of survival when the time comes. I am not asking less selfishness, I am just asking that all of you beautiful and amazing people out there, don’t lie to your parents, your children, to your partner. Just keep your relationships based on truth. Even a smallest hindrance of lie will cause everything to shatter before you even realize what happened. I am sure you are good people because that is what I would like to believe. I would like to believe you are good with people you care about, otherwise you all might be big time b-words. Just be honest with those you love at least. Keep morality and truth alive if not flourishing.

I wish you all have a good week ahead of you because we all hate Mondays. (Except, I know this wonderful bakery that is closed on Mondays and I respect them for that :P). I wish to keep writing this time, so I am sure if any of you is reading this, you will be hearing from me pretty soon. 

Wanting to sign off as xoxo gossip girl, but that’s definitely not me 😛

Music: yours forever

You know when you are teenager and you pretend to be into bands cos you think everyone is as well and you will look like an idiot if you were the only one without a crazy passion about music. I wasn’t like that, but I do think most of my music listening when I was 16 was due to the fact that my friends were crazy fans of music and I was just trying to fit in. Music connects you to people, that’s true but isn’t its sole purpose actually to connect to yourself. When you connect to music, what does that really mean? It means that you are vulnerable and susceptible to someone else’s thoughts and feelings and believe it or not, isn’t life all about just that. Being able to understand other human beings, isn’t that all we are trying to achieve at the end of every relationship and imagine how simply the artists and song lyricists make this connection without knowing anything about us. Isn’t it wonderful?

I am really sorry I haven’t mentioned the “music” bit of music, all I have been saying is how songs are very beautiful but being a fan of “Music and Lyrics” myself I think music is as important as lyrics if not more so. Music connects us to souls who don’t know our tongues but only understand good music. That is why we have Beethovan and Mozart alive among us even after decades of their passing away from the planet. The music that enthralls and enriches us all, we all have some connection to some music (or rather, i hope all of us do). So the point I am really trying to make here is that music is probably the only thing that will become personal to you, that’s why people have personal iPods or music players and we have playlists. It is incredible how much time people spend listening to music. At work, I am mostly hooked on to my earphones listening to something instrumental/hiphop/dubstep as it helps to work. While cleaning, while showering (during sex), anything really.. music is important to all of us and I think we should give it more credit than we do. I think we should buy music (to stop piracy), or listen to online radio (my favorite being 8tracks).

I just realized that since my teenage, music has been my constant companion in anger, in sorrow, in happiness and I just want to say thank you to all those brilliant artists out there trying so hard coming up with such incredible music for all of us to relate to, to be comforted by and to rejoice in.

P.S. A very short postscript about all the artists who disgrace the music industry, really people what do you listen to, when you need to work? I really do wonder, I will not be pointing out names of such artists but we all know of certain well-hated artists though to me, some of their songs are nice with good lyrics but the rest are equally dull. But really think about it, what do these people hear? I can’t help but wonder, surely not something like beethovan otherwise they would be very hateful of themselves 😛

Workday mornings

How often have you seen someone across the street carrying a cup of starbucks ‘Venti’? For that matter, not only Starbucks even other coffee shops are flooded with the morning crowd between 8 and 10 for people trying to get better coffee than their office coffeemaker would supply. The question really is, are all these people not sleeping enough, are they used to coffee, or is work not holding their attention? Most breakfast sets are served with tea or coffee, why? I wonder if it is a choice, or are we being forced into choosing this coffee-oriented life style.

In movies and books and also in real life, most people take their coffee with their breakfast every morning. I am not bothered by the side-effects of coffee but rather the sheer consumption of the drink. According to a recent research, 54% of Americans above the age of 18 drink on coffee everyday while 65% of those have it with breakfast. Also, another thing to note is that anyone who is above 18 is either in college doing long hours or studying(more honestly, partying) and the rest are working in 9-10 hours desk jobs. Are they in need of coffee because of less sleep every night or have they just joined the club with all other people before them getting their shot of expresso? I am not really expressing an opinion here, just to be clear. I actually do not know why there is so much coffee needed to get you started in things that should inspire you to work on regardless of how less sleep you have had. I wonder when all these great inventors were working on their projects/inventions were they constantly carrying a cup of coffee or were they motivated enough to never need it? I wonder if true passion overcomes sleep or coffee is a necessity regardless your love for your job or study. I am not really criticizing coffee drinkers, absolutely no criticism. I just wish to understand why is so much coffee being consumed every day around the world.

I asked a friend about this same problem and he mentioned that adults usually sleep less hours in a day and so, they need coffee to get through the day. This would make sense if you think about it, but then I can’t help wonder is there no adult that sleeps 6-7 hours a day? Also, isn’t even 5 hours sleep enough for adults? And, what about conditioning? If people are sleeping 5 hours a day for 5 years, shouldn’t they be conditioned to not be sleepy at work? But then, a voice in my head pops up just to say quietly, they have also been conditioned to drink coffee every morning for 5 years so really, you cannot tell if they can stay up or not. This is highly interesting and honestly, pretty useless train of thought. (yes, there is a rational being in my irrational head). I would just leave as I have to get back to work and to my cup of coffee with this final thought on coffee:

I hope you enjoy the video, and I didn’t make it 🙂