Category Archives: Deep stuff

Ladies, don’t do men!

This is a shout out for all heterosexual women out there:

Don’t do men.

Sleep with men, but don’t do them. If they are your drug, all you would be left with after they leave is a shell of what used to be a human being.

Love them, like them, cherish them, enjoy their company, laugh with them but just don’t do men.

We have seen our girlfriends pine over lost loves and then get over them. We have seen the same happen to us.

We have heard the reminiscences of broken hearts and first loves.

Don’t let men be the drug.

PS- I am less than qualified to give this advice but still, I want to spell it out.

On paper

How do you define a good human being?

I know a person.
A straight-A student.
Conformist.
Follows all the rules.
Punctual.
Obedient.
Non smoker.
Not drinker.
No drugs.
Moderately intelligent.

Does that make him/her a good person? This person is:
Arrogant.
Full of him/herself.
Inconsiderate of others’ emotions.
Undermining.
Controlling.
Self-obsessed.
Obnoxious.
Toxic.

And yet, the world will give him/her a crown and put them on the high pedestal and treat with reverence and respect. On paper, this person is completely wonderful and nothing can ever be wrong with them. But, think about it. There is no modesty, no humbleness and no consideration for others. How could this person be a good person? How can we as fellow human beings treat this person better than a person who lacks conforming on-paper qualities but is good at heart and humble and wise? But we do. We do treat these bastards better than people who are truly wonderful (not on paper, but otherwise).

As human beings, we tend to not forgive mistakes. We think that if someone is making wrong choices, they must be horrendous human beings. But being at 16, 22, 28, 40, 55 or even 80 and being able to admit to your wrong choices, accept them and moving on from them is what make you a good human being. Good human beings make mistake and learn from them. If you never made a mistake, you have never learnt anything new. If you have never smoked, or done weed, or had so much to drink that you passed out, you have never truly understood what it means to be young. (I am not advocating this behavior, I am merely stating that these particular afflictions DO NOT represent who you are, they are just some things you have done). Be kind to people. Because in turn, you want them to be kind to you.

Forgive people as they are nothing but fellow travelers in this journey you call life. Move on from your own mistakes as they do not reflect who you are. What you do about your mistake however does. Do not succumb to other’s mutterings as they are nothing but their own insecurities. Do not be rude, or inconsiderate because even your niceness might be the only good thing happening to someone that day. Remember always, that you are just another person trying to push the boundaries of your existence like so many others. Never feel alone. We are all in this together. Some of us will depart before the others, but trust me when I say this, all you need is to trust each other and be good to each other for your life to not suck.

Things I have learnt growing up.

1. Love is conditional.

Let me explain this clearly. You CAN condition love. People do so much for others     approval. Sadly, a lot of times the others are actually the people who love them. You     marry based on your parents approval. You hang out with people based on your partner’s approval. EVERYTHING you do, is probably for somebody’s approval or disapproval [for the more rebellious of souls]. There is no such thing is unconditional love.

2. Nobody wants to hear the truth

Oh yes, you hear questions like: Do I look fat? Am I stuck in a stupid job? Is my life going anywhere? Should I break up with him? Do not even slightly think of giving your opinion (your honest opinion). Just give them what they want to hear (if you want your relationships to exist even in the least. Even when they say they want to hear the truth, trust me. Nobody likes the truth. It is better left as fiction.

3. Reciprocation is the basis of everything

You do something for me, I do something for you. And both of us are happy. There is no place for unrequited affection, gifts, words, emails or anything. If somebody is not reciprocating, you are basically spam in your life. Harsh truth. Deal with it.

4. People have a habit of disappointing: DO NOT have any expectations

You think there would be one person who wouldn’t disappoint you. Oops sorry, that wouldn’t happen. If there is someone who hasn’t disappointed you yet, it will happen at some point unless you have no expectations of anybody. Kudos then.

5. Life is not fair

Heard these statements:
“She’s a bitch, I don’t even know why all guys are after her”
“He isn’t even good at his job, why is he always promoted?”
“She doesn’t even make so much, how does she buy all the expensive clothes?”

Don’t question things like this. No point really. Life is just not fair. Why somebody worse than you has better things than you is not a right statement to make. EvER. Feeling worse because someone else is better than you or happier than you is also kind of shameful. So, don’t. Don’t divulge in people’s happiness and misery. Basically block yourself off facebook.

I can write more but really what is the point of this morose talk. Learn your own lessons. Make your own mistakes. Just do yourself a favour, do not depend on people. I learnt it the hard way.

Personal: do not read

I look at this ring I own, I got it as a gift. It is really pretty and everything one wants in a ring. It is perfect. It is carved with a lot of effort and is insanely precious with a beautiful diamond sitting in the middle. It is everything everyone could want in a ring. I chose it. There were four options and I chose this one and to be frank, I am proud of my choice. I have worn it once but it feels rusty now. I don’t mean it has actual oxidation happening n it’s surface but it is rusty. Old. It feels worn out. My life is this ring.

I chose it. It is precious and everyone envy’s it. There are material things. Beautiful things. Like the iPad I type on. The phone I own, the ring I am wearing. There is everything in my life that I never wanted, and nothing that I really did. This ring reminds me of the fact that I am sorely incomplete. The ring doesn’t even fit my ring finger. I just can’t believe it that I skulked around people pretending I have this and that when I am the most empty person I know. I have nothing to fill my life with. No love. No friendships to last a lifetime. No companionship of any sort as I threw them all away believing something better would turn up. Sadly, it didn’t. I became immoral, unreal and materialistic. I love my things cos that’s all I have. I have nothing real. Nothing to last me a lifetime.

As I look at this ring, I bitterly cry to myself thinking of my age and lost times. All the things I have become. All the things I did not want to become. Where has my life come to? Why have I not taken decisions and let it float around? I don’t have answers so I will probably not ask these questions after a while.. But thinking about it only made me realize that I am empty. So empty that I fill myself with fear. I am scared of everything: new, old, present, future. Everything. I hope there is nobody in the world who feels as shitty as I do right now. Toodles.

Importance

This is a really short post. What makes us think that we are or should be important to others?
1. They are important to us: This is one of the craziest and foolish thought processes human beings exhibit. Just because someone alis important to you does not imply in any way that you must be important to them. In the good cases, it would be true. Many a times though, it isnt. For example, you might have only one friend but that friend might have several friends other than you. No, it does not decrease your importance but it does affect the time spent giving you importance.
2. We were important to them. People change, deal with it. Just because two people were the world to each other does not mean that fact would remain the same. People, their feelings and your feelings all are subject to change.

Now dont take this to your heart, and start doubting everyone who loves you. Indeed people love you and care for you. And those people will show it to you in their actions. They will stand with you even when they are pissed at you. They would be sad at your losses and smile at your success. Hold on to those people, you are lucky to have them 🙂

Slowly, very slowly.. I got up from the park bench and started the walk. It was almost sundown and my thoughts were my only companion. As I reached the park entrance, my thoughts were interrupted by the noise that was raging about me. It was perfectly normal seven o’ clock in the evening. To me however, it was sheer ruckus. I sighed and started to walk towards home. It was slowly getting dark and I was trying hard to monitor my own thoughts. I gave up on it quickly as I found it impossible to hear. Somehow, I realized that the more the sound the less likely it is to distinguish it. The thought brought a smile on my face as sounds grew louder and more insignificant around me.
I had a long night ahead of me and I knew it was not going to be fun. I was going to have to submit in another badly edited piece but I could not help it. The words did not really come to me anymore. It wasn’t just any writer’s block, it was more. It was a sense of desperation and loneliness that was taking over my writing. I glanced at my watch wondering if the small shop around the corner would still be open. I needed some coffee to last me the night. I was becoming sick of coffee. I had never been fond of it, but recently it had become a necessity. I was still not sure whether the coffee was helping me or was it just a psychological addition to my stale imagination.
The shop below the building was open and I thanked heavens for that. I bought a small jar of coffee (the cheapest one, I could find). I was vaguely hungry but I refused to acknowledge it. Food had lost its flavour. Just like everything else. All was pale. I sat down on my desk, unscrewed a bottle of ink and dipped my pen in.

Human life

Once in a while you will wonder the sanctity of human life and its meanings. The question arises is what should you do then? What should you do when you want to kill somebody because of the heinous crimes you know that they have done. No, not to you but to somebody else. What morals should you follow when your gut tell you something is correct and completely acceptable. To be completely honest, I do not know. I heard some really awful stories. The Boston marathon bombing, the building collapse in Bangladesh and the rape of a 5 year old in India. What do you do to such people? The factory owners in Bangladesh blackmailed their employees to go into a building to work, a bomber took innocent lives in Boston and a neighbor raped a five year old baby. I get furious hearing these news and at the same time wonder if the ideals of protecting all human life is actually a good notion at all. Should these humans really called human? Do they have even a flicker of humanity in them.

I have been thinking about this for a while now. Who decides who deserves to live or die? All I know is some people do awful things and get away with it and they should not. They should be made to feel the guilt of their actions

Darkness

I was thinking about darkness today because I decided I will blindfold myself and fold my clothes. Now folding clothes is a pretty simple thing, it does not really require your eyesight. If you do your own laundry and fold your clothes you will know what I mean, I’m sure. Today I realized, that folding clothes is probably not as easy as it looks. Or rather, I realized that our eyes are way more important than we give them credit for.

I have always taken my body, and myself for granted because to me even when my eye sight started diminishing, it was still more or less a constant. But think about the fact, that what if it wasn’t. So, back to folding clothes. It is not dramatic to say that closing your eyes does give you perspective. I could feel my clothes and recognize them by texture, I always knew I could but I imagined their colour as I folded them into rightful piles. I also realized that I could imagine colour but there are so many people who can’t. There are people who know what real darkness is. When you are young and the light goes off, you are scared and you look for your parents. Imagine, there are people who all their lives have known nothing but darkness. They don’t know if red is different from blue or yellow or beige. Forget about the shades of colour, there are people who don’t even have a concept of colour.

I have come to realize, we don’t miss what we don’t know. So I am sure that for all the people who have never seen anything, they don’t know what they are missing. But we do. Don’t we? So, I just want to say, use your eyes, ears, nose, tongue and skin well because there is someone who doesn’t actually have all of these. If you are lucky in life, your sight will be with you for a long long time, and so with your hearing, but chances are they will eventually fade. The truth is, our bodies grow old. That is why they say, you are as old as you think you are. All I am saying is, treat yourself well. Take yourself for a walk because you don’t have arthritis yet and you can walk. Have some dessert once in a while as you don’t yet suffer from diabetics. See the beauty around you, and the beasts and the tragedies because you have your eyes. Hear all the sounds, not just the music but of door creaking, the muffled voices, the TV mindlessly playing because you have the gift of hearing. Live people. Once in a while, just look at yourself and say thank you because believe it or not. You are amazing. All of us are amazing. Imagine your human body, think about your 7th grade biology when they taught you about all systems in your body (respiratory, excretory, reproductive, circulatory etc) Isn’t it freaking amazing? Don’t you think you are amazing? I do, all of you. Or at least physiologically amazing :P. What you do with your morals and your body is you, and that’s what makes you ugly or beautiful.

I leave you with two thoughts now:

1. My old friend used to say to me, “Beauty is a simple reality seen with the eyes of love”. I have never forgotten these words because it allows me to see beauty in everything.

2. There is this exhibition/workshop which you all should explore if it is in your town. I went for it once and it is brilliant. It is called “Dialogue in the dark“. Check it out and if you are lucky it would be in your city.

P.S. I did not manage to fold my clothes blindfolded. Eyes matter even when we don’t realize that they do matter.

P.S.S. This post is not intended to piss people off who have any bodily abnormality. I am sorry if there is anyone who gets offended reading this.