Time and again, you look around yourself for some sort of inspiration in order to be more creative sometimes or maybe just a little focused or just a little more driven. Like it is with laziness that drives away at the last moment, when you get inspiration things that feel so so hard to do, just become easy for a very short while. It is like that tiny drop of felix, like that first high you had, it is like that moment of possibility. Inspiration is beautiful and complex and all-surrounding.
I got inspired by a really really irrelevant tv show’s episode to write this post, actually I got inspired to reflect my entire existence. I saw this woman in this show so insecure of who she is that she tries to make everyone look less important so that she could look important. I cannot help but think, am I any different? I have never liked it if my friends were happier and I have never been able to just be content. Never been a modest person in my life, I have gotten the impression that I am boastful. I read somewhere true artists, true lovers do not boast of their love or art they are just so happy with it, they don’t need to boast. That’s why maybe all these women posting their problems with their partners on Facebook feels so so futile and superficial to me. The fact that I can boast who I am makes me wonder if I am boastworthy (thats a word now) at all.
As I was talking about inspiration, I would just like to mention something. Inspiration does not always mean to do something, sometimes it just means to not do some things. I have never been able to be truly happy for anyone in my entire life. I have been so jealous of people that I have forgotten what it means to be happy for somebody and as time goes by I feel like I have never really been anyone’s true friend. I cannot support people to become better than me. This might be true for so many other people. I do not know. The thing is, I do believe we all have a calling and once you do answer it, you stop being jealous cos the fame and glamour of your calling doesn’t matter. Whether you are appreciated for your work doesn’t matter. The only thing important once you find the love of your life, the thing that makes you complete (I said thing, not person) you stop caring about what other people’s life are going through because you know, they will never be as happy as you are.
You know, I learnt something today. There’s a reason why you can’t measure some things like happiness and love because if you could you would compare two completely random relationships and draw conclusions. Love and happiness are things you define for yourself. I have the following 2013 suggestions for myself and all those wonderful people who might read this:
1. Love and happiness is relative to your past experience. But, that does not mean you define the peak of your love or happiness. You cannot guarantee that the thing that gave you supreme happiness in the past would make you feel the same way in the future. Give way to change. DO NOT ever say you were happiest doing something/with somebody because all you are doing is undermining all your future happiness. LIVE. Don’t quantify happiness.
2. We all have different definitions of happiness. Partying all night might make someone really happy but don’t be assured that would work for you. You might just be happy staying home all night reading. Stop defining your definition of happiness on other people’s scale. Find your own.
3. Love everything. From waking up in the morning to going to bed at night. Do not be a grump. Be happy. Just decide to be happy. FUCK everything. Just be happy. Love everything around you, even when it sucks. When your boss shouts at you, improve on what you are doing wrong to make sure that you can correct the wrong. Love your job. If you don’t, quit. Love each moment as it is a gift, you do not know when it will all be taken away so you need to be grateful and loving.
4. Don’t be convinced of anything. I am not saying don’t believe but just do not get all so caught up in your belief that you have no room to change it. Remember Aristotle was convinced that the earth was in the center of the solar system and that it was flat. Do not be so assured of that you cannot see when something about your belief system changes.
5. Take life not-so-seriously. You are bound to screw up. Stop trying to not make mistakes. You will trip on your shoes someday and the water will be too cold to shower on some day. If you are too serious, all you will achieve is yourself running around trying to fix everything and believe me you don’t want to do that.
6. Fight well. Whenever you fight with someone, don’t ignore things. Fight and make sure you are heard. If you are being ignored, bring attention to yourself. Don’t try to write off your fight because you know if there are any conflicts they are bound to come up later.
7. Complete things. Leaving things hanging just complicates your work. If you have time, whether it is a literature paper you are writing, a math problem you are trying to solve, or just a simple program you are coding, or even a blogpost you are writing, finish it. Everything should be completed. Everything needs an ending. Stop stalling. Finish.
So here is me, going now, wishing you all a very very happy new year 2013. Say your goodbye’s well for 2012. I hope it has made you learn as many things that I have learnt in the past year. Even if your learning was small, make sure you spend 10 minutes today to go over what has changed in the past year. And appreciate the change. Even when it sucks. To all those people who have lost something this year, don’t be sad. It’s life, shit happens. To all those who are incredibly happy, I hope you know that you are lucky. Appreciate it. To all those miserable today, look at it this way. Tomorrow is a brand new beginning. The real question really is, that you all should ask yourself is tomorrow really a “new” beginning?
Have a brilliant end to this year! Make sure you have your resolutions ready! And when you kiss someone at midnight, make sure you live it. To all you brilliant people, CHEERS! 🙂